The other day I went to the shop in between my lunch. I had to do a quick turn around get some cash and get back to the office. I really fancied a bottle of coke. It was on a shelf I couldn’t quite reach (As you know I’m not one to shy away from asking for help (cc Who would you trust?). So I asked someone who was close by if they could help me reach it.
There was a weird pause.
He looked at me and pointed to the diet coke. I smiled and said, no the red one please. Then he grabbed the zero coke. Usually I would have just gone with it anyway with it getting awkward but there was something about this that made me want to push. So I said “No the full fat one please”. I realised I needed to be blunt.
He replied “Are you sure? It’s FULL of sugar that”, with a dead pan judgy face complete with one raised eyebrow. Trust me, I am the queen of sarcasm and no sarcasm was included in this short exchange.
It might seem a daft scenario that normally I would brush off – but there are so many elements to respond to this I have to break it down:
– I think we all know I’m the right age to know what’s in a drink
– He paused and didn’t pass me it until I responded
– I am able to make my own choices
I felt automatically defensive, embarrased and still in a rush. I didn’t have time (nor want) to explain my politics on eating a drinking and that I very much live in the now and enjoy the little things in life.
So yes Billy, (I’ve no idea what his name was but let’s call him Billy) I am sure and I replied with “I’m quite aware of that thank you” and returned the stern look he was giving me.
It just baffled me. But it did make me realise this is a regular occurence
Ordering a taxi – “are you sure, that’s a long way!”
Do you want your coat on? “are you sure, it’s very cold!”
Getting money out of a bank “are you sure, that’s a lot of money!”
I’ve had it all my life and I’m pretty sure that’s why I’m so indecisive now. Any time someone asks me a question I’m likely to have a little panic and say “ooh I don’t know – what do you think?”.
So, to people who offer help – thank you. But don’t forget to allow the disabled adult to make their own choice, as you would to anyone. We all know that word that we like to jump to – intention. But sometimes intention doesn’t excuse how the words or actions come across.
Anyway to Billy – I’m just about to pop open my second can of coca cola — ooh I can feel the sugar bubblin’!
Has anyone else experienced this? Or have you done this yourself? Don’t worry – this is a judge free zone to talk about those sticky situations. Let me know what you think by using my contact page.
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