So picture the day, I’m strolling around John Lewis pretending I can afford everything in the shop. I decided I was going to treat myself to a lipstick for my birthday. I mean who am I kidding, it just happened to be near my birthday, I was going to get one anyway wasn’t I?

I spot the perfect shade and go to ask the assistant if they could try the shade on me. I get comfy and raise my chair. I always feel conscious at this point because guaranteed people pretend to watch and have a good gawp while they’re at it, but the shade is worth it.

As the assistant is applying the shade I casually mention that I find it hard putting lipstick on as my bottom lip is bigger than my top lip. She replies with “yeah you just could do with a bit of filler here” pointing to my top lip. I was shocked at how casual she said this and I’m not very good at constructive criticism.

Now this has stuck with me for ages. Of all the things to critique on myself, my lips were not up there. Don’t get me wrong I’m pretty body confident but I’m so used to people patronisingly saying things like ‘you’re lovely just the way you are’ or people hiding their nerves by talking about the weather or how busy the store is. So to be looked at and critiqued was a first. I’m sounding like a bit of a princess now aren’t I?

Am I actually bothered about this comment? Am I just shocked that this assistant actually treated me as she would anyone else? Is it weird to also feel kind of buzzin’ that she treated me like everyone else in the store? Is that me being ableist to myself? So many thoughts right now.

Obviously lip fillers aren’t on my top priority list at the moment and I don’t think I would ever have the guts to get lip fillers even if I had the money. This post doesn’t really have a solid meaning or an inspiring ending, it’s just telling you my thought process of this situation. Basically, this was my first experience of someone telling me how I could improve my looks that wasn’t anything to do with disability, and it felt weird. I also look at my lips a lot more in the mirror now. Great.

Oh, by the way I did buy some Soap and Glory lip pumping lip gloss which the assistant suggested instead of these lip fillers I need… top tip, don’t bother it just makes you pout more because your lips are on fire.

Anyway here’s to thin top lips!