You’re Always so Happy!

I was in Sainsburys once and a lady at the till who I recognise waves. Naturally I wave back. I shout hello and we have a mutual nod, as you do. Then she suddenly shouts “you’re always happy aren’t you love, always got a lovely smile on your face!” pleased as punch as if she’s giving a good ole compliment. I looked at my mum who had a look of “oh dear, Gem’s gonna love this…”.

I reply with a straight face “no one is happy all the time”

When I look back I laugh at this because if there was a way to kill a mood, this was it. The lady didn’t reply…

Because I’m not always happy. No one is. I admit I try and look at the opportunities I have, what I’m grateful for and the silver linings wherever I can. But sometimes I’m absolutely bloody fumin at life. And sometimes it’s because of my disability, my aches and pains and sometimes it’s purely because it’s raining and I’ve straightened my hair.

This week another lady approached me and said “I love to hear people like you laughing”. I mean let’s ignore the ‘people like you’ bit because I hope people reading this will understand why this is just wrong on so many levels, whoever you are or identify as.

What I’m trying to say is I find it so strange that people have to label that I’m ‘ok’ and not sad. Do people expect me to never smile, enjoy myself or god forbid laugh? The bit that makes me feel uncomfortable is I feel like some people almost get a kick out of seeing a little disabled lass happy. Oh bless her heart she’s got all that going on and she’s still smiling. When actually one of the main barriers I have is dealing with attitudes like that.

So for all the people out there that love to see people like me having a laugh, av a load of this picture

9 thoughts on “You’re Always so Happy!

  1. Richard Brittain

    I enjoyed this blog post. It must get annoying being condescended to.

    1. Gem Turner

      Ah thank you Richard, yeah very odd I must say!

  2. Ceriann

    This post was hilarious – I completely relate. I live in Rotherham but work in Sheffield and I have type 1 O.I too. One of the comments that will always stick with me – my secondary school science teacher :” it’s lucky that you’re so academically able because otherwise you’d be unintelligent AND in a wheelchair – and that’d be awful!” Infront of the whole class. Age 15. Yep. Mortified!

    1. Gem Turner

      Ah lovely to meet a fellow OIer! haha bloody hell that’s terrible. It’s a good job we have a sense of humour isn’t it! Thanks for reading 🙂

  3. Amy

    I have OI and I am always told the same as you. It’s so not the case, but I have a role to play of ‘always happy Amy’, because that is what everyone expects.

    1. Gem Turner

      Annoying we feel we have to play that role though. Sending OI solidarity to you!

  4. Debbie

    People generally say stuff like that when they’re having a bad day… We tend to feel better when we see someone worse off than ourselves… So I don’t mind if it helps them have a better day. I did struggle to get my head around the statement “you’d have been ok if you hadn’t missed the whole education thing”, discrimination everywhere including if you’ve not been to university, hahaha

  5. Great Expectations – Gem Turner

    […] when actually I’m a pretty happy and positive (most of the time) person. (cc my blog: You’re Always so Happy! for a lengthy rant about this) So last week I had such a refreshing thing happen that I wanted to […]

  6. Shani

    Great piece Gem 💎

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